Change - The highs and lows of making a difference

Hello! I hope you are all well.

I wanted to talk to you today about change. Whether you love it or hate it change is just something we all experience. I personally am not a fan of change. I love a routine (I know shock!), I love my home comforts, and my life is good. However my routine changes every single day. My career choice means I have had to adapt to these changes and never knowing what will happen and I love it. I never in a million years thought that would be something I would feel but I do. 

Change is a huge part of the decluttering process. A lot of my clients want change but also don’t want change and I’m here to help with that. In your home the smallest of changes in habit can make such a huge difference to your home and wellbeing. For example loading the dishwasher or washing up straight after dinner - This means you don’t wake up thinking about it or have to rush to get it done before work, even worse before dinner that night. That small 5 minute change can change your whole day.  Another idea is to put on a wash to finish before you wake up. That way you can put out the laundry before work and it will be dry and ready to put away as soon as your home. All before your evening meal. 

A lot of my clients come to me because of life changes, House moves, a new baby, separation, grief and many more. I am here to help with all of these and treat each one differently.

Here are some of my top tips for each……

House moves - DECLUTTER BEFORE YOU PACK! I repeat DECLUTTER BEFORE YOU PACK!! 

So many times I go in to homes with boxes of belongings from previous moves that never got unpacked. The record I have seen so far in my career is 37 years! A garage full of boxes that were moved and never opened. If you don’t declutter first it will cost you so much more in time and money.

When packing make sure you pack like with like and room by room, Don’t put your socks in with your cutlery. Label clearly on top and sides of the boxes the room it is going and an idea of contents so anyone helping will be able to put them in the correct space.

 Starting early will mean you have plenty of time to be super organised - This is the only way for a stress free move. 

Remember moving house is one of the most stressful things you will ever do so get help, start early and give yourself a break. It will be worth it in the end. 

New baby - With all the excitement from finding out you are expecting to the sudden hormone changes making you feel horrendous there is no doubt that pregnancy can cause all kids of anxiety around clutter and organisation. Long before the nesting stage you may feel that your home is just not ready for a new addition. Whether it’s your 1st or 5th child your life and home is about to change. 

My advice is to not leave it until too late. 9 months may feel like plenty of time to sort your home but its not and In reality you will have around 5 months maximum. 

Take it slow. Remember your body is changing too. Get people to help with lifting and moving. Declutter before you shop for those baby essentials. Adding more will not help at this stage. Think about the practicalities after birth. Make sure everything you will need for this 1st few weeks is reachable from standing. Don’t put your bottles and formula high up or low down. You may not plan it but a c-section is always a possibility. Clear spaces are going to be a life saver in those early days. I could talk about this for days so if your expecting drop me a message for more tips. 

Separations - A separation is a huge change and a logistical nightmare. Discussions over who gets what from the home while navigating the loss of a partner is an extremely difficult thing to navigate. Whether its your choice or theirs it’s still a huge life decision. If possible don’t rush in to discussions over who gets what, process the separation first before thinking about ‘stuff'

When you're ready I advice getting someone in to help mediate if things are tense. This person can be a friend, family member or professional and they can just help in keeping you on track without getting into arguments. Before you go have a list of any items you specifically want or that are yours and encourage the other person to do the same. You could even discuss this prior to sorting the house, I advice an email to have it all clear and in writing. 

Start with the least sentimental items eg the kitchen . Leave bigger items until later and write a list of these higher value items to divide fairly. 

My biggest bit of advice here is your mental health is far more important than any item. Think to yourself is it really worth fighting over this item.

Be fair and amicable and you can get through this! 

 Grief - Decluttering someone’s home after they have passed is an incredibly difficult task and not one to be undertaken alone or too soon. 

There is no right or wrong way to grieve and we are all different so what I say may not work for you and that’s fine. Just know I am here to hold your hand. Listen to you and sit with you in your silent memories. 

Much like a separation when dealing with a loved ones belongings start small. Tackle the kitchen draw or the garden shed. Leave the harder items until you feel ready. Don’t feel pressured to keep or get rid of anything. What has meaning to one person will mean nothing to another and that is personal to you and only you. 

If you have other family members involved be kind to each other. You are all grieving in your own way. It may seem insensitive but a good way to decide who gets items from the home is to use coloured post it notes. If you would like to keep a certain item you can put on your colour. Once everyone has done this items that are wanted by 1 person can be taken, anything wanted by more than 1 person should be left until the end and discussed on a day when no other decisions need to be made. Anything without a post it can be donated or taking to the recycling centre or offered to further family and friends. Please please when offering things to others always tell them there is no pressure!!! So often people accept things out of guilt or pressure, this doesn’t help anyone. 

Remember your grief is your and yours alone. Only you know what’s best but I am here. 

“Grief is like a moving river, it's always changing”

I hope this has been really useful at thinking about change. 

If you're ready to take that first step for the reasons above or any other please send me a message as I would love to help from free guidance,  online support, or in person sessions I am always here. 

Have a lovely week 

Lauren xx

"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living,"